the beginning of an end.

just wanted to insert a snippet from an e-mail i just sent.  it's nothing eloquent, and i'm not even going to go through it to edit/enhance/perfect it...just wanted to document it again so that i'll be able to look back at this entry, and not necessarily be able to read too specifically what i was feeling, but at least i'll be able to look at it, and spur those memories.  i'm really going to miss this place...

"so know that i love you, i miss you, and while i'm ready to be home in less than well...in 18 days! wow...i'm going to be super busy trying not only to survive the work here, but to also enjoy this last bit of time i have with shanghai, and china, and with lu chao & the other guys.  because not only might i never even make it back to this country or city...i know for a fact that i'll never be back with the same guys at the same place in the same setting...not experiencing the same things in the same, new ways.  i can already tell that because i've forgotten how it felt to view things in that light already, after just being here a few months.  i can't even remember what it felt like for anything here to be weird to me.  it's the strangest thing, and i know that once i get on the plane or at least in the rush to the airport and all that stuff that day, that's when i'll flip the switch and be fully ready to be back in america and back home.  [but] until then, i think it's about to get really hard and really sad...really quickly.  so i don't know what i'll be saying between now and then, but know that it's going to be a whirlwind of emotions for a bit."

that's all i really have...except that:

[1] i really miss my dog...it's certainly got something to do with me watching "marley&me" for the first time the other day, and it just sooo closely resembled the relationship i like to think i have with my king, and how he's also getting pretty old...it's just very sad, and made even worse by being thousands of miles away...

[2] so this weekend was kinda a bust...as far as the whole 'getting work done' thing...it wasn't the most productive, i realize, but it did provide for some nice time spent outside our little "cet bubble"...yesterday i went to the french concession for a bit to work and just enjoy the scenary [well, actually we--oh yeah, it was annie's idea in the first place bTw--kinda got lost aka couldn't find this other place, so the french concession it was! ha]  it was soo nice though, especially considering i had just recently begun to think about how, with my time coming to an end rapidly now, how i probably wouldn't ever find time to make it back down to the bund or dowtown or old city or the concession...so it was sooo perfectly ironic that i really didn't mind that i didn't work too much, or that i bought expensive-ish hot chocolate and a croissant [bTw...soooo good!  idc that it's like 80-90 degrees...it was inside with a/c!]  so yeah, that, along with picking up my clothes i had made was about it for the weekend...well, besides all of the fun i had washing clothes! :)

[3] as the end draws near for me here, another portion of my life is also coming down to its last days...f-r-i-e-n-d-s is almost over! :(...haha, no but seriously...i'm on disc 15 of 16 now...and am really trying to ration myself so that i can have just that little bit of entertainment left all the way until the end!  it's sooo crazy to think that by now, i've probably seen nearly 200 of the episodes [not that i haven't seen them all already countless times before]...but it's been awesome and cool to watch it from beginning to end.  after all, isn't just about every life situation and drama played out at some point or another with the gang?  i know it's been eerily similar to some of the things i'va had going on with me since i've been watching it that it's kinda cool/spooky.  ahhhhh the life-experiences one can experience via the life & times of this timeless group.  haha...

[4] last for tonight, i just realized recently that in keeping up with school, working through some tough things from afar, and just being really busy //slash lazy// about it, i really failed to ever mention my sister being here back during spring break.  yeah, i realized this past week that it was exactly a month ago then that she'd been here, and that we'd gone around shanghai seeing the same ole' stuff for me [cool for her, i hope!] and then catching a plane to beijing and having a wonderfully hectic 3-4 days in the ancient capital.  among other reasons, i can say without a shadow of a doubt that her being here allowed me to really see the hand of God working in my life...just the timing and the fit...it all happened sooo amazingly that it's just hard to explain...and couldn't be any other way!  anyways, this is just an intro...i just wanted to at least jut-in a little spot about that experience, so that hopefully in upcoming posts i'll be able to recap it a little more [i'll have to refer the pictures as usual for my reminders! ha]  but so yeah...hopefully sooner rather than later i'll give that portion of my trip the credit it's due, and document a little bit of the roe family asian adventures! ha :p

okay okay...well my sleep schedule's all out of whack...and i don't really know why.  regardless, i'm already tired, and am going to call it an early night once again [3 in a row!]...ha...so good night for now; look forward to continuing soon...

w/p

[[[...bTw...photo's from the other day...hair's might long...hmmmm....]]]

[11:10pm]. [05/10/09]. [shanghai].

第十四天